Monday 21 July 2014

Some of the Best Chuck Norris "Programmer" Jokes

Many types of chuck norris jokes were there on internet where people associate him with unusual things to form a joke. Today i am going to share some of the best chuck norris programmer jokes. For some time, Imagine chuck norris as a programmer. He can do many wonders with programming.

Find out what things "Programmer Chuck Norris" could do while programming. Please don't expect these things from normal programmers:

Related: Mobile Application Development Trends 2016

Disclaimer: Kindly note below given stuff is already shared on some of the social media sites and these are not my personal views. It is shared just for fun & information.


1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.



2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.


3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.



5. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

6. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.

7. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.

8. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).

9. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.

10. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.

11. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.

12. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.


13. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.

14. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.


15. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

16. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

17. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”

18. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

19. Chuck Norris can access private methods.

20. The programs that Chuck Norris writes don’t have version numbers because he only writes them once. If a user reports a bug or has a feature request they don’t live to see the sun set.

21. Chuck Norris’ Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

22. Chuck Norris never gets a syntax error.
      Instead, The language gets an DoesNotConformToChuck error.

23. Chuck Norris don’t need passwords to access your system, he simply types * and system gives him access.

If you have any more, Let me know in comments!

Source:
http://codesqueeze.com/the-ultimate-top-25-chuck-norris-the-programmer-jokes/

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